How To Stop Living In Survival Mode

Have you ever wondered how to stop living in survival mode? We know living in survival mode is unhealthy for our families and us.

Life as a working homeschool mom can be busy, chaotic, and sometimes overwhelming. Every time you turn around, it feels like something needs your attention and needs it now!

And before you know it, you are a master at living in survival mode going through the motions just to make it through the day.

This method of “just get it done” is an effective way to cross tasks off the to-do list but is not sustainable. Eventually, you will burn out.

That’s why I want to share with you 3 simple steps to help learn how to stop living in survival mode.

What Does Living In Survival Mode Look Like?

When it comes to talking about survival mode, the first question we ask is, what is survival mode? And what does it look like when someone is living in survival mode?

After all, you can’t fix something if you don’t know it is broken.

Living in survival mode looks different for everyone. However, when someone is living in survival mode, they display one of these signs of survival mode.

For me, living in survival mode looks like making a plan every single day and then jumping from one task to another putting out fires instead of focusing and completing tasks.

I’ll toss a load of laundry in the washer and then promptly forget about it for 3 days.

I’ll forget to pick up the kid’s homeschool books even though I’ve written “pick up homeschool books” in my homeschool planner and set reminders on my phone.

I know I’m in survival mode when I can’t make a simple decision, such as what to do first, and everything feels overwhelming.

When you are living in survival mode, you rely on the fight, flight, or freeze response that is completely natural in your body.

This response kicks in when you are experiencing stressful situations or trauma, and you are trying to protect yourself. This is good.

You need to take action when you end up stuck living in survival mode for extended periods of time. I use these survival mode worksheets to help me unstuck.

Once you download them, they will show you how to stop living in survival mode by walking you through some steps you can take right now to get out of survival mode.

3 Ways To Stop Living In Survival Mode

Learning how to stop living in survival mode is the bridge between understanding you are IN survival mode and learning how to get OUT of survival mode.

You might be able to jump right into an action plan. For me, I need to do a little mindset work before I am ready to make that leap.

Here are 3 simple steps that have helped me learn how to stop living in survival mode:

1. Self-reflect

Survival mode often includes disconnection from yourself and those around you.

Honestly, the first thing that goes when someone is in survival mode is self-care. You don’t have the time, energy, or desire to take care of yourself.

The first step is figuring out what is going on, how you feel about it, and what you can do about it. You need to reconnect with yourself.

Grab a quiet corner and a journal, and ask yourself:

• What do I need?
• What is my body telling me?
• Have I eaten?
• Am I tired?
• What are my emotions telling me?

Next, take a few minutes to write out how you can start listening to yourself.

Disclosure: I may receive commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

Tree of Hearts Journal (Diary, Notebook)Calm: A Day and Night Reflection Journal (Inner World)

 

For example, if you are struggling with getting enough rest, then make a practical plan that makes sense for your life.

Don’t go to bed early because that is what experts say. That advice is great, but when you need to work until 9 or 11 PM, it’s not practical.

But you might be able to catch a quick nap or sit quietly to rest while the kids are napping or at a game of soccer.

Jot down a few ideas you can actually fit into your schedule.

2. Connect With Others

When you are living in survival mode, it can be tough to focus on others.

And when you work, it can be hard to find the time to connect with your family and friends.

This can lead to depression and circles back to feeling alone and overwhelmed.

In order to break that circle, we need to make time to connect with others.

When you work and homeschool, you need to take advantage of smaller time blocks.

Here are a few ideas to connect with others in just a few minutes:

• text or call a friend
• read to your child before bed for 10-15 minutes
• leave a note for your spouse/partner

Connecting with others doesn’t need to take huge amounts of time. I like these 10 ways to connect in 10 minutes.

3. Get Support

Sometimes you need someone else who understands what working and homeschooling are like to give you perspective and help you see a way out.

When I start to feel myself sliding into survival mode, I reach out to a friend and ask her if she has a minute to chat. She also runs her own business and has children close to the same age as mine. She “gets” my life.

I started the Working Homeschool Mom Coffee Club because connecting with others who are working, and homeschooling can help you get out of your own head. They’ve been there, done that, and are willing to listen.

I want to encourage you to seek support from a friend, a loved one, or a therapist to help you learn how to stop living in survival mode.

Stop Surviving And Start Living

While none of us wants to keep living in survival mode, learning how to stop living in survival mode is not always easy.

For those of us who deal with chronic pain, chronic illness, or other highly stressful situations, survival mode may have become an automatic response to stressors.

Remembering to give yourself grace is just one tip for surviving survival mode and time to make the transition from living in survival mode and getting out.

Survival Mode Resources:

Survival mode is common among working moms who are also juggling homeschooling their kids.

Here are some encouraging resources that may help you:

• Homeschooling During Tough Times
• Homeschooling With Depression (from a working mom perspective)
• How To Avoid Burnout As A Working Homeschool Mom
• Get Out of Survival Mode Checklist

After you’ve put these 3 simple steps in place to help you learn how to stop living in survival mode, the next step is to work on creating an action plan to get out of survival mode.

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