Homeschool And Socialization: Is This Still A Problem For Your Homeschool?

When it comes to homeschooling, there’s one question that often takes center stage: socialization. It’s a topic that sparks curiosity and concern among many parents considering or already engaged in homeschooling.

As a homeschooling mom, I’ve encountered the dreaded question time and time again: “What about socialization?” It seems to be the first thing people inquire about when they learn that my children are homeschooled.

But here’s the thing—I’ve learned not to fret about socialization in my homeschool. It’s time to debunk the myths and misconceptions surrounding this topic and shed light on the positive social experiences homeschooling can provide.

Homeschooling offers a unique opportunity for children to engage with a diverse range of individuals and develop meaningful relationships. Contrary to popular belief, homeschoolers have ample opportunities for social interactions and personal growth.

So, let’s put any concerns about socialization in homeschooling to rest and embrace the incredible opportunities it offers.

Public School And Socialization

Having graduated 20 years ago, I can attest to the significant changes that have taken place within the public school system, particularly when it comes to socialization.

I vividly recall the days when I would sit in the classroom, whispering and giggling with my closest friend, attempting to keep our conversations hush-hush.

However, times have changed. Nowadays, there is little room for chatting during or after classes. The hallways remain quiet, lunchrooms have become “no talking zones,” and even recess is no longer filled with the joyful sounds of children laughing, running, and playing.

While I don’t possess the personal experience to support these observations, I have spoken to mothers whose children attend public schools, and they have shared stories of their kids getting reprimanded for talking during a silent lunch break.

Surprisingly, despite these changes, the question of how homeschooled kids will socialize continues to be the primary concern raised when discussing homeschooling.

My response to this is simple: they will socialize in much the same way as children attending public schools do.

What Does Socialization Really Mean?

Before we delve deeper into the topic of homeschooling and socialization, let’s take a moment to understand what socialization truly means.

Let me ask you this: Have you ever owned a dog?

In our household, we recently welcomed a new puppy named Echo.

Isn’t she the sweetest? 

I have a stepsister who used to breed and train dogs, and I had the opportunity to observe and learn from her experiences.

One crucial question that every prospective dog owner would ask is, “Is the dog socialized?” In response, my stepsister would explain the steps she took to ensure the dog’s socialization.

She would train them in a park where children were running around and playing. She would take them on walks in the town, exposing them to people of all ages and traffic. She would also bring them to dog parks, where they could interact with older dogs and puppies. Additionally, she would have them in the house while she went about her daily household chores, allowing them to experience the realities of family life.

Why did she go through all this effort? It was to help the dogs become accustomed to various experiences they might encounter in their new homes. The prospective owners wanted to ensure that their new puppies or dogs were well-prepared for their own unique set of experiences in the world.

However, the training doesn’t stop there.

With Echo, we have been working together for months, and we will continue to do so. Life is constantly changing, and as her “dog mom,” it is my responsibility to ensure that she continues to learn how to navigate and cope with life as it unfolds.

Drawing from this analogy, we can see that socialization is not merely about superficial interactions or limited to a specific environment. It is an ongoing process of learning and adapting to various situations, preparing individuals to face the world with confidence and resilience.

Embracing Unconventional Norms

My kids are more important than my dog.

As a mom, my primary responsibility is to ensure that my children are prepared for life as it unfolds. This includes their social development and understanding of societal norms and values.

Let’s start by clarifying the definition of socialization. According to Dictionary.com, socialization is a noun that describes a continuing process in which an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to their social position.

In simpler terms, a socially adept person understands what is considered “normal” in a given situation or circumstance.

However, here’s the catch—I’m not sure I want my kids to strive for mere “normalcy.”

In today’s world, you don’t even have to step outside your house to gauge what is considered “normal behavior.” Just hop onto your favorite social media platform, scroll through the content, and take note of what is widely accepted as normal. If you’re anything like me, you’ll soon compile a long list of behaviors you don’t want your children to emulate.

Children learn best by example, both from their parents and those they interact with. Therefore, finding appropriate social activities for your kids is crucial.

In the homeschooling setting, the entire world becomes your classroom. The people your children interact with encompass individuals of all ages, backgrounds, ethnic groups, religions, and income brackets—essentially the same diverse array of people they will encounter “in real life” once they enter the workforce.

When I say “the world,” I mean it quite literally. As homeschoolers, our daily routines often involve venturing outside our homes. Even on the rare occasions when we have a “day at home,” we engage in online activities and classes, providing our children with ample opportunities to practice the social skills we teach them.

We take our children with us wherever we go, exposing them to new places, experiences, and diverse encounters, enabling them to understand what is socially acceptable and what is not. Along the way, they learn valuable lessons, such as how to handle being ignored because they are children, why yelling for attention is unacceptable but saying “excuse me” politely is preferred, and, perhaps most importantly, they witness numerous examples of how not to act.

By embracing this unconventional approach to socialization, we empower our children to navigate the complexities of the world with grace, empathy, and a deep understanding of the diverse perspectives that exist.

Why I Don’t Worry Over Socialization

I don’t lose sleep over my children’s socialization because I have full confidence in their abilities and the efforts we put in as parents.

They live in the real world, surrounded by countless opportunities to interact with people on a regular basis.

Their days are filled with learning experiences from individuals of all walks of life and various stages. They actively engage in volunteer service and are involved within our congregation. For instance, when we go shopping, they have the chance to meet and interact with both customers and employees, engaging in meaningful conversations. I am often approached by people who express how polite and engaging my children are, which makes me proud.

It’s disconcerting to realize how rare good manners seem to be these days.

When people ask, “What about socialization?” what they truly mean is, “Do your children know how to interact with peers of their own age?”

(Though this interpretation doesn’t align with the true meaning of socialization, perhaps it’s time to let that misconception go.)

Now, some may argue that despite the positive experiences mentioned earlier, my children might struggle to connect with others their own age. Let me assure you that they have no issues interacting with children in their age group if they choose to do so.

We make sure they are exposed to age-appropriate social opportunities, which include:

1. STEM Groups at the Library
2. Swimming lessons (organized by age, and later on, ability)
3. Skating lessons (again, sorted by age and later by skill level)
4. Art Classes at our local craft store

As you can see, they have plenty of chances for “age group” socialization.

However, it’s worth noting that my children often express little interest in spending time with peers of their own age. They amusingly remark, “Teenagers are weird!” If only they knew how amusingly peculiar teenagers can truly be!

By allowing our children to interact with individuals of all ages and providing them with a diverse range of experiences, we broaden their understanding of the world and equip them with the social skills needed to navigate a variety of situations. Their ability to connect with others, regardless of age, fosters empathy, adaptability, and a well-rounded perspective on human interactions.

The Role of Community in Socialization

One question you might ask is, “Does socialization depend on your community?”

The answer is both yes and no.

Yes, if you desire for your children to have more interactions with peers of their own age, you might encounter difficulties if your local library doesn’t organize age-specific programs, camps, or challenges. Similarly, finding park days where children their age tend to gather might pose a challenge.

Whether we are homeschooling parents or parents with children in public schools, it can be a struggle to find suitable associations and friends for our children. Recognizing this, we have compiled a list of ideas to help working moms find friends for their kids.

It’s important to acknowledge that not all children possess the qualities we want our own children to emulate. We are well aware that our company greatly influences who we become.

However, it’s essential to realize that socialization doesn’t solely rely on age-based friendships. Once we shift our perspective and understand that our children can benefit from friendships based on shared interests, qualities, and personalities, the possibilities expand.

By embracing this mindset, we open ourselves and our children to develop meaningful relationships with a diverse range of individuals. Of course, it may require some creativity on our part.

You might find yourself taking the initiative by hosting gatherings, seeking out local co-ops, or even driving long distances to attend functions that align with your children’s interests. Stepping out of your personal comfort zone and being bold might be necessary.

Remember, the rewards of forging connections with like-minded individuals and fostering genuine friendships can outweigh the challenges. These efforts not only contribute to our children’s socialization but also provide valuable opportunities for personal growth and broadening of perspectives.

So, while the community you reside in can play a role in socialization, it’s important to remember that with determination, resourcefulness, and an open mind, you can create a vibrant social environment for your children, enabling them to thrive and forge meaningful connections regardless of the limitations presented by your immediate community.

So, What About Socialization?

It’s important to dispel any misconceptions about homeschooling and socialization. Choosing to educate our children at home does not mean we isolate them from the world. On the contrary, we actively encourage them to engage with the world and embrace a well-rounded social life. Rest assured, we don’t keep them locked up in basements—besides, I don’t even have a basement!

Our approach to socialization goes beyond rigid age-based groupings. Instead, we empower our children to navigate life and its challenges by actively living it. We believe in providing them with diverse experiences and opportunities that allow them to develop essential social skills and cope with a variety of situations.

Rather than confining them within specific age groups, we encourage our children to explore their passions and interests. Through these activities, they naturally form connections with like-minded individuals, regardless of age. We respect their choices and support them in developing friendships based on shared activities and genuine connections.

In essence, our children are truly “socialized” in the most authentic sense of the word. They are learning, growing, and adapting to life by actively participating in it. We believe in nurturing their individuality, allowing them to choose their companions based on shared interests and qualities.

So, when people question the socialization of homeschooled children, I can confidently say that our children are thriving in their social interactions and developing meaningful relationships. We embrace the richness of socialization beyond narrow age boundaries, giving our children the freedom to forge friendships with individuals who inspire and challenge them.

Ultimately, homeschooling provides a unique opportunity for our children to experience the world in all its diversity, enabling them to become well-rounded individuals who are prepared to navigate the complexities of social interactions throughout their lives.

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