What Homeschooling Can Really Look Like & How To Find Joy!

Inside: Homeschooling is not always pretty. It is not always picture perfect. However, there are things you can do to make it awesome. 

Let’s play a game called two truths and a lie. Ready?

Truth: Homeschooling can look like anything you want or need it too.

Truth: Homeschooling is flexible enough for any lifestyle.

Lie: Homeschooling is always a joy.

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That lie is probably one of the most common one I see on social media, in Facebook groups and the most common one moms tell themselves.

If homeschooling is hard maybe I should give up. 

Let me be clear, homeschooling is NOT for everyone. There are just some families where it doesn’t work. And that is okay.

But just because every day is not a walk in the park does not mean you should give up or it isn’t working.

It means you need to figure out what is not working and how to fix it. It means you need to take action.

The question is: How?

See, as a working homeschool mom, I always get the same question when people find out I balance homeschooling two children, working outside the home and, of course, all that comes with being a wife and mom.

And now that I work outside AND inside the home, I get asked that even more. The question is...how do you do it all?

The answer I give depends on if you are homeschooling or not. 

If you aren’t homeschooling and working my answer usually includes things along the lines of planning, asking for help, finding good online courses such as SchoolhouseTeachers.com, etc.

Or I talk about training them to be independent, helping around the house and on and on.

Why?

Because if you aren’t homeschooling and working you might not “get” the answer I give if you were.

You might not understand what it is really like. Plus let’s be honest, you might not care 😉

BUT

If you are working and homeschooling then 99% chance you need more than an “a great planner really helps!” for an answer.

You need to hear about the horrible days and how to cope. You need to hear you aren’t the only one hiding and crying but that it really is going to be okay. 

You need to hear the truth.

But when a working homeschool mom, like you,  asks the answer is completely different.

Because you aren’t asking from an outside point of view. You already know what it is like to balance life and homeschool. To find the time to juggle house, home, life, children, school, activities and more. To add a boss, job demands, travel time, sitters, to this jam-packed life seems impossible to you.

When you ask, you might get this instead:

I try not to fall apart, I cry in the bathroom more than once. Lose my temper over stupid stuff. Grit my teeth and smile, I say things I regret later, threaten my kids when they talk back and get sassy, hug them both and do it all again the next day….”

I’ll be honest, when I am done the first thought running through my head will be “She’s going to think I am a terrible mother!”

Most often the answer I get is this instead:

“Someone who has been doing this for as long as you have, and you still have days like that too?”

Yes, yes we do.

Truth: We all have bad days!

Yes, that was my first back to homeschool day a few years ago in case you are wondering…yes I am a horrible mother some days.

And after dealing with all of that, I get to go to work and deal with demanding customers, screaming kids, the hectic pace, on top of being super sick and hugging the toilet the night before.

Then, when I finally get to come home at 9:30 pm, physically exhausted, mentally fried and dreading dealing with more snotty kids and a messy house.

You know that training I talked about? It pays off.

Instead of a crazy messy house, I got a not so messy house, to kids that came running and excited to tell me all about their awesome day.

It got me thinking maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

Truth: Why I Keep Homeschooling? 3 Reasons

1: I know the first month back to school is always bad, I mean like really bad.

I know also know this year will be worse, as we have a major change in my schedule going on at the end of this month meaning it will be like two months of “back to school”. For a mom and kids who do not thrive on change, this will not be fun, in the least!

We will have one schedule for September then another for October.

This means adjusting twice, yes we redo and make minor adjustments each month, checking to see what works and what isn’t but these will be bigger adjustments as we add in the rest of our curriculum for the year.

2: I know the good far outweigh the bad.

I am solid in my reason for homeschooling, I know it is the BEST choice right now for our family.

There are so many rewards of watching your children discover, learn and grow. I really don’t want to miss any of these moments.

3. Even on the bad days, they are learning. 

They learn how do deal with others, how to show empathy when others are sick, how to compromise when needed, how to lead, how to voice opinions in a respectful manner and more.

They get reminded that mom messes up too. That I sometimes need to make the same mistake over and over to learn, just like them. That learning doesn’t stop at Grade 12 and it shouldn’t.

Please know: If you having the worse homeschool day ever remember we have all been there.

• Crying in the bathroom eating cupcakes-yup!
• Wanting to throw out our entire curriculum and begin again-check!
• Calling a much-needed break and sending the kids outside while you munch on chocolate chips-sure have!
• Going for a nature walk because if you stay in your messy house one more minute you will be screaming too-check and double-check!

And I am not the only one...

How To Rock Your Homeschool Day

I’ve learned that easing into our homeschool year slowly has helped prevent some of the meltdowns we used to experience.

I’m still experimenting because even though we are entering our 11th year I still don’t have it all figured out yet.

Don’t be afraid to mix it up. To stop completely for a bit. To think outside the box!

5 Ways To Fix Your Bad Homeschool Experience:

• Start your new year with 1-2 subjects a day. Each week add a new one to the schedule until you’ve added them all
• When things are going wrong, stop and take a learning break. Learn more about what a learning break is here.
• Before you start a new homeschool year or semester complete a personal homeschool assessment of the year that just past. Find out how to perform a homeschool assessment here. 
• Call a Time Out for you. Sometimes walking away from a bad moment or two will help you figure out if it is YOU or the Kids.
• Call a friend. Talk to someone about your day and what is going on. I call it thinking out loud. It can help you figure out what is going wrong and they might have great ideas on what to do differently. ♥

It’s Not Just You.

It’s not easy being a homeschool mom.

It’s not easy being a working homeschool mom.

It’s not easy being a mom.

Period.

But tell me….

What things in life that are truly worth it, are easy?

So hang in there!

The day will come when you can look back and laugh at the bad days, joke about how they took turns and didn’t all gang up on you, you can smile at the things that seem so big right now.

In reality, the good days will shine brightly in your memory. That is why I can honestly say, I love homeschooling, the good, bad and the ugly!

Bad homeschool days will happen because nothing is ever perfect.

We all have frustrating days even if our kids are in public school, homeschooling or a mix in between. But you can overcome it.

I know you can 🙂

If you’ve been there, done that and have advice to share, I’d love to hear it. Please, leave a comment below.

Take care, 

Jen

PS. Are you a working homeschool mom? You can successfully work and homeschool, learn more here.