9 Signs You Are In Survival Mode
Have you ever felt totally blindsided by a situation? Maybe you’re experiencing that flight or fight feeling in your gut. Or maybe you feel completely numb, nothing?
These could be signs you are in survival mode, especially if you are in the middle of a crisis or traumatic experience.
But what if we feel like this day in and day out? How do we know if we are having a bad day or in survival mode?
If you find yourself wondering, “Why am I in survival mode?” amidst feelings of being constantly overwhelmed or numb, it’s important to recognize the signs and distinguish it from a bad day.
When you work and homeschool, you will experience really good days and really bad days. Those highs and lows are normal.
If you are having a bad day, you can learn to leave that bad day behind you. But if you are living in survival mode, leaving it behind you is not an option.
Living in survival mode can feel like your life is completely out of control. Knowing the signs you are in survival mode is the first step to gaining back control of your life.
But, What Is Survival Mode?
Are you wondering what survival mode is?
“Survival mode” is just trying to get through each day, putting one foot in front of the other.
You are working, homeschooling your kids, cleaning, and cooking but totally focused on just making it through the day.
There is no living. There is only existing.
9 Signs You Are In Survival Mode:
Survival mode can make you feel like your world gets turned upside down and you have zero control.
Because survival mode can be physical, emotional, mental, and practical, it’s essential to figure out if you are in survival mode.
If you are wondering if you are in survival mode, here are nine signs to look for in your life.
1. You Have 24 Hours Only
A sign that you are in survival mode is that there is no tomorrow. You are doing everything you can just to make it through the day.
You focus all your energy on the next 24 hours. You cannot even think about the next day, never mind next week.
The very idea of using a planner or making an appointment causes a near panic attack. Who can think about that??
On the flip side, a sign that you are in survival mode is that you are unrealistically attached to your planner.
Disclosure: I may receive commissions for purchases made through links in this post.
Daily Planner Notepad
To Do List Notepad
Once scheduled, you feel that task is written in stone and can not be budged, or you freak out!
2. Everything is URGENT!
You can only consider one task at a time.
While we know multitasking is not good for everything, a sign that you are in survival mode is that you feel like breaking down if two tasks need your attention simultaneously.
For example, opening an email and answering your child’s request for a snack brings you to a breaking point.
That’s right, clicking “open” on an email and saying, “Yes, you can have a snack,” is beyond your mental capabilities. Instead of doing this action, your mind goes blank.
Every bill, deadline, and homeschool project feels like it was due yesterday, and you’ve got to get it done NOW!
3. No One Else Can Help
You are the only one who can do the job right, and you must do it yourself.
As moms, it is well known that we find ourselves doing tasks such as cooking and cleaning because it is faster and quicker than getting help.
But a sign you are in survival mode is that you can’t ask for help because it’s your job, and asking for help means you’ve failed.
By the way, totally not true. But when you are in survival mode, what is true and what isn’t does not matter. What you feel does!
When I was in survival mode, I felt this one deeply.
I’ll never forget the day I broke down in my living room, sobbing my heart out because I could not do one more thing. That’s right, a full-grown adult crashed on the sofa, unable to cope with a simple chore because it was just too much!
It was intense, unnecessary, but very real. From the outside looking in, the solution was simple, communicate and ask for help.
If you are busy trying to figure out how to stop living in survival mode, the very idea of asking for help either doesn’t cross your mind or makes you feel like a failure.
4. You Feel Utterly Alone And Helpless
No one understands what you feel, what you are going through, and what you need.
And because you can’t ask for help (#3 above), you feel very alone.
Now, let’s keep it real for a moment. Being a working mom and a homeschool mom can be lonely.
One of the keys to working and homeschooling is to find people who are on this path with you and plug in.
However, when you are in survival mode, that is not an option because you don’t have the time or energy to make those connections.
And if you do have friends, you push them away because you don’t have the time or energy to deal with them.
5. Lack Of Sleep
A sign that you may be in survival mode is that no matter what you do, sleep is not happening.
You spend the day in “urgent mode,” rushing around doing all the things because no one else can do them, and your stress level is so high you feel like you will snap at any moment.
The moment your head hits the pillow, your brain goes into hyperdrive, listing all the things you didn’t get done plus all the things that need to get done.
Nothing works. Not brain dumping, not diffusing essential oils, not deep breathing.
Instead, you spend the night tossing and turning and wake up even more tired the next day.
6. All You Can Do Is React
As a working mom also homeschooling, it can feel like life is being thrown at you 90 miles an hour.
Work deadlines, homeschool projects, co-op, social activities, schedule changes, it truly is non-stop.
If all you can do is react to every situation coming at you, that is a sign you are in survival mode.
“Reacting” is feeling like you are at the mercy of everyone: your boss, clients, kids, and even your family. There is no time or energy for being proactive because life is out of your control.
7. There Are No Good Days
You can’t remember the last time you laughed and enjoyed a day. There is no good day.
I remember when I was in survival mode, I struggled to find the good in each day. I could list off ten bad things that happened that day in the blink of an eye.
Ask me to tell you one thing that made me smile? Nothing. My kids could share a joke, but I didn’t laugh. My husband would do something nice, but I didn’t say thanks.
If you find yourself desperately trying to make it through the day, losing sight of the good, this is a sign that you might be in survival mode.
8. Lack Of Care
A sign that you might be in survival mode is that you don’t care about anything.
Have you ever walked into your child’s room to see them drawing on the walls with a sharpie marker and don’t even look twice? When given a choice about take-out food to eat, clothes to wear, or any other details of the day, you just don’t care.
You can’t remember the last time you got excited about a new project or felt good about something you did.
Is it done? Yes? Ok great. Check it off and move on.
You have so much on your plate that nothing else really matters.
9. Self-Care Doesn’t Exist
Self-care or “me time” doesn’t exist.
You are so busy running around taking care of everything and everyone you don’t have a second to breathe.
A sign that you are in survival mode is knowing you need time to stop, think, and breathe but finding the time needed to practice self-care is unthinkable!
You need simple self-care ideas but you can’t think of ONE that you want to do.
Download The Survival Mode Worksheet:
Survival mode is not a fun place to be. Sign up for the worksheet below and use the worksheet to journal and learn how to start taking care of yourself today.
Survival Mode Help For Working Moms
Are you a working homeschool mom struggling to keep up with the demands of your busy schedule?
If so, you may be experiencing the physical, emotional, and cognitive warning signs of survival mode. But don’t worry, there are many resources available to help you overcome this challenging time, and get back to feeling productive and fulfilled.
Here are some survival mode resources specifically designed for working homeschool moms:
Survival Mode Is Not Forever
There you have the 9 signs you are in survival mode.
While survival mode is not the best place to be, I want you to be encouraged: this stage of your life that you are facing is not going to last forever.
Once you’ve identified that you are in survival mode, you can make an action plan and learn how to get out of survival mode.
📌Don’t let this post get lost in the internet abyss – pin it to your Pinterest board now!
[socialpug_share]
Hi, I’m Jen. I help working moms juggle their career and homeschool their kids by providing support, systems and tools. You are warmly invited to Join the Online Community Here!
